Wednesday, January 4, 2012

“Do or do not… there is no try” –Yoda

It seems I always start out strong.
My motivation is high.
I can see my goals and know what it will take to accomplish them.
I'm determined to achieve success and understand hard times will come.
But what happens?
I lose motivation.
I lose site of my goals and the tasks to accomplish them seem blurred.
I feel achieving success isn't doable and the hard times seem to wipe me out.

I wish I could say this time was different, but I can't.
I cannot predict the future and honestly, what fun would the ride be if I knew what was always coming.
In light of these upsetting trends that I have found myself in time and time again, I plan to plan better. 
You may ask, what does that look like?

Well, first off. I am going to do something I have never done before.
It won't be an easy for me or I would have done it in 2008 when I realized my fate in being obese, death.

First I need a commitment that has 3 parts: My goal (specific - how much and when), my action plan on how to acheive my goal, and what I commit to

My Goal is to lose 2 lbs per week
My starting weight is 1/3/12
My 1st goal weight is
My calorie budget is
My goal date is
August 02, 2012

My action plan (small things that help to avoid the pitfalls that have tripped me up in the past):
- Keeping foods that are NOT on my "ok" list out of the house.
- Have Whole30 approved apple cider on hand for those strong cravings I can't seem to shake (1- 8oz glass only)
- No alcohol. :-(
- Keep at least one snack ready to eat in my purse.
- Going to Crossfit in the morning, because it motivates good choices all day.

I recognize the benefits to my health and commit to:
Crossfit - four to five times a week.
Making better food choices –strict Whole30 foods.
Keeping a food journal – with Loseit! App.

Allowing Em to help me in ways I won't help myself. I'm asking for tough love.
Now that I have my commitments, I need to revamp how I plan to solve those stumbling blocks when they come up. This means doing what I am rebelling against most. Asking someone to help me. Some people say (especially me), "I don't need help, I can do it on my own, and if I can't then it's not meant to be." So. Not. True.

This is why I asked for a partner. Not just any old partner that will call when its convenient and tell me I am doing good even when I am doing bad. I am talking about a Food and Exercise Sponsor.  Its just like AA sponsorship, find someone who has been doing well on the program, and ask them to come along side to help. This will keep not only me in line but the person helping as well. I know, I know... super cheesy. But let me tell you this, if I have tried and tired without success before, I need to call in the troops and try something new. This is it!

I emailed a very good friend of mine and asked her to help. I explained I didn't want to scare her off with my needs and my attitude but I needed her to know, "...I am a master manipulator and want things MY way all the time. Especially when it comes to food and exercise – it seems to be a mental breakdown of me believing it's the only thing I can control. I will do anything to avoid having people tell me what to do. That being said, I am asking you to ignore my childish behavior. This is an addiction for me and I need help.  
Now, this is what I would like to ask of you:
  1. I desire emails checking in (once a week or more) and telling me you have been looking at my loseit. Confirm I am doing well or ask me what's going on and why have I not done it. Again, I am a master manipulator and will tell you anything to get you off my case… don't listen to me. Only accept my willingness to do better.
  1. Check to make sure I am working out at least 4 times a week. It can be ANY workout. Crossfit or at least 45min of any kind of cardio.
  1. If I am not returning emails, texts, or any form of communication in a timely manner I need you to:
    1. Get my core group of friends and Jake involved and ask them on board with helping me see, I need to be willing to do better. 
  2. If I go away for the weekend or go to parties or BBQ's – please ask me if I drank and how I ate. I will easily tell you, "I didn't do well and I'll do better next time." But I need you to ask me:
    1. Why did you choose to do that?
    2. What were you feeling or thinking in the moments right before?
    3. Was there anything you could have done in those moments to change the outcome?
    4. How will you do better next time?
I probably will not be able to answer in that moment (because I write to process) but don't let it go unresolved for too long). You can even email me the questions if I have not answered them in a timely fasion and even include those core people on that email as well.
                                                               i.      Recommended homework: From my answers will you please pick a topic for me to write about. Something you feel I struggle with. I will then write a 500 word essay about it.

She accepted this challenge joyfully and I can't wait to keep my commitments long term. 
Get excited people, I am ready to do this!

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